Somebody, Anybody Tell Me I'm Not Alone......

Remember when I started this blog & I said it won't always be rainbows & sunshine???? Yep, welcome to today's post ladies & gentlemen!

My 4th Baby~ I think he looks JUST like me! : P

Here's the deal: Alex is not biologically "mine" it is a big, long, unimportant story. I wear my stepmom badge proudly. I will admit I didn't at first but, hey, I'm not perfect. Alex has lived with us fulltime for ALMOST 3 years now, (that's a big long story too but it's no ones' business on the world wide web) I'll just say his home before wasn't safe, ours is. My husband has had this outta town job for ALMOST 3 years. This has resulted in Alex & I having some MAJOR life changes in major ways major quickly! 

Alex has called me "Mom" since before he ever lived with us, it started at my mother in laws wedding in front of bio mom & didn't really go over well.... My philosophy: to bad! I have 3 other kids that call me mom & my husband dad, why confuse & make Al feel like an outsider? We never told him to call me that nor have we ever talked to him about it (& for the record he's called her by her 1st name always.... as far as I know) he trusts me with that important title, I won't take it away from him. 

So she (I reference her as EBO & no I won't say what that stands for) has visits in my home twice a week, or at least she's supposed to. I don't understand how a parent ESPECIALLY a "mom" can skip out on their child's childhood. EBO has skipped ALMOST 1/2 her visits this year & more than half both last year & the year before. It makes no sense & honestly, pisses me the f*** off! Preschool graduation, dance recital, soccer games & birthday parties are all events she has chosen to miss, "the car broke down" when he had graduation, guess what??? The mugger puggering bus route would have gotten you here! There is no excuse for shitty parenting PERIOD, EXCLAMATION MARK....... THE END!

Why am I rambling about all of this today?? Well, we were graced with her presence last night, my Alex is a smart kid, he knows the schedule, the time etc. so after him standing at the door for 8 minutes making excuses for why she wasn't here I finally got him preoccupied with "helping" do laundry. Two minutes later she appears. She does not acknowledge my presence & I have stopped trying to make small talk. The visit is uneventful, nothing major to log in my journal, I consider this a victory. Alex happily talked to both of us, reading to us from his book he made at school today and telling us he wants to join the circus,

Al: "Mom, can you call the circus so I can walk on my hands and hold a ball with my feet?" 

Me: "Sure buddy, when you can walk 30 steps with your hands I'll call the circus, they'll be here in June"

Al: "OK can______ come watch me too?"

Me: "I don't see why not"

Great, I now get to find a circus that allows 6 yr old, hand walking, ball balancing, acrobats.... YAY.  

Why am I complaining then? Well the only issue was she wants to go somewhere for her next visit & I legitimately can't, rather than talking about she stormed out of my house & starts ANOTHER rant about me on facebook about my games & wanting to punch me. Honey, you are in your 30's, grow up. 

I think it's funny how I can find fault in MOST every thing she does and she can in me. All my complaints about her seem to be her complaints about me: She treats Alex like a pawn, she's selfish, she doesn't work with me, I bend over backwards to accommodate her, BLAH BLAH BLAH.....

We both see each other as the bad guy too & neither of us feels at fault, if you ask either of us Alex is our number one concern in this situation, I'm "rude to her & demanding" I won't "let" her parent him, we both feel the other is selfish & plays games with Alex, she has canceled almost 40 visits this year & I never say a word, I canceled my 5th last weekend & you would think it was WWIII! She text my husband asking why she was "being denied visits" MY son has been denied visits every time she has something more important to do..... 

Have any of you ever felt that?Not just with custody but that  no matter what there was no pleasing the other person, as much as you were annoyed with them their annoyment about you was equal??? No matter what it wasn't good enough? How the hell do you move forward when you are to stubborn to give an inch? Alex has been burnt by her to many times to count, am I wrong to keep my guard up?

Please tell me I'm not alone in this!

Thanks for listening.

-Sarah

It's Perfect Loving You..... Most Days!

Today was a spoiled day, a day of putting my needs first (these days are few & far between!) but I did it & I enjoyed it! I slept in until 7:30 AGAIN! (Thanks Beast!) and then I worked until 2, while at work I requested breakfast & the Hubs delivered~ not sure what he's up to but I'm not asking either! He then ran my errands and picked up some of the house.... I think today is some holiday I don't know about! After work I bought a dress! Anyone that knows me is aware this is kind of a big deal since most our money goes to feeding, clothing & keeping the younger 4 Brackels busy!

I actually had a reason to buy a dress so maybe it's just a technicality, my reason for the dress was.... Anthony & I got our pictures taken today!!!!!!!!!! This is a HUGE deal! He loathes getting in front of a camera but he likes me so it all evens out! Anyways, we won a photo contest a few weeks back so we went for it & since today was a me day I got photos of just us! Amber was our photographer, very young, very spunky, very unsure of my crazy husband! We had a lot of fun & I think he may even do it again sometime. Here are a couple of the photos!

Thanks again Amber at Treasured Moments Photography! After pictures Anthony went grocery shopping with me & then to visit a couple friends. After that it was dinner at a local Italian place!

The cashier at Wal-Mart told us we were "adorable", our waitress thought it was one of our first dates! At another table an older couple looked over at us & grinned to each other.....

 I got home just in time to share a cannolli  with each of my girls & send them to bed~ folders still stuffed with papers, tales of their school day adventures have yet to be told, dinner for them was microwaved but something tells me that they'll be ok, the world won't explode because I skipped story time this one Friday & my kids won't grow up to be monsters because I chose date night for once. Anthony & I giggled, we talked about our 8 year long journey that brought us to where we stand today, we shared new dreams & hopes that have changed in the last 8 years. We have different values than we did back then, we shared our favorite memories about the kids, reminisced about a lot of our "firsts" and agreed that we are still learning from each other & finding new things to love about each other.



Tonight will go down as a perfect night with my husband. I think sometimes people get so busy in the day to day you start to under appreciate your partner, you take advantage of them & become resentful towards the cool life they have versus what you do..... I know that had been happening here. Take time to step away and just be together, I'm going to bed now, it's my last night in my husbands' arms for two weeks. I know I'm going to get upstairs, fight about why I NEED all the pillows (& blankets) kiss him playfully & PASS OUT! He will find a quarter of a pillow, snuggle up to my giant head of hair and hold me. It's something we joke about every day & it's one of my favorite moments to hold on to.....


~Sarah

What an InSaNe Week!

So right after I say how obsessed I am with blogging- I don't blog for a whole week! Honestly, the Brackel kids have pulled this Mama in 40 directions this week!

Tuesday Helen and my girl Jen, drove to NJ, I know glamorous right? We actually had a reason to go~ Helen had her first meeting with a casting agency for acting, modeling, dance etc! She did pretty good, not phenomenal, but well enough that we are headed to Staten Island this weekend~ what an adventure!

~Helen & Jen~

Helen outside of Xist Talent Montclaire, NJ

We will see where this new adventure takes my little lady!

Thursday was our wedding anniversary~ 4 years, 8 1/2 together, we've had highs, we've had lows but we've stuck it out, we keep laughing & loving & we have managed to keep 4 super crazy busy kids alive & not too beat up so we must be doing something right! It's hard with him gone often but it has made us appreciate our time together... Love you 

                                                  

Our Wedding Day 2008

Wednesday & Friday were like most any~ we ran here, we ran there, we ran EVERYWHERE!!!! Sean had a football game & ran the ball!!! (I hear that's a good thing!) and I hung out with his "other mother" Jessica. Jessica is his stepmom, we get along except when we don't! It's complicated but we do our best to make things work, it's not always smooth but we figure it out! 

Me & Jessica~ The Moms

We get along so well that, you might remember from my last blog, I took her kids two weekends ago, well this last weekend 3 of my 4 went with her while Helen (it was a Helen week) & I traveled to Syracuse, NY for... a beauty pageant. Ok let me stop here, I am NOT a pageant mom, I'm a lot of ______ mom (soccer, cheer, dance, football etc) but not pageant! My daughter does not have a flipper, spray tan or makeup that makes her look like a China doll. More power to the moms that have Glitzy Girls, not at my house though.  

Helen started pageants a year ago. We go to the Salt City Royalty Pageant, it is a nonprofit pageant that focuses on community involvement, good grades & inner beauty. This pageant is a natural pageant (meaning no makeup for little ones, any style dress the girls feel pretty in etc) Helen has had a lot of involvement in community service in the year since she started pageantry. We are a low stress pageant family, Helen enjoys getting awards but she also likes the sportsmanship, zoo the pageant was at, and seeing friends she has made! She likes knowing she is helping those less fortunate and I love that she is learning to make a difference. Elizabeth did a pageant a few months a go. She won her age division but hated the whole thing! 

Anyways.... So we went to the SCR Pageant last Saturday & Helen had a BLAST! We sat with our pageant family friends, Steff & Joe and just had a good time~ Helen won a bunch of awards AND a modeling contract, she also won the top prize Most Beautiful 2012 Salt City Royalty! Great job Babe! Sunday we were back in Syracuse & Helen was the hostess at a Baby Pageant` she had fun & for the second day in a row, I saw my mom friends~ yay!

Too cute!

Monday brought my Beast home! So this week I've had help running around with the kids & I've been pushed aside while they fight for his affection. After the crazy week I just had I can't say I'm to broken up over it, I just look at him trying to find a comfortable position with 3 kids on his lap and smile. I've slept in every day this week~ which is good since I'm pretty sure I have the flu~ and I've taken the back seat when the kids ask the tough question, "What's for dinner?" & "Do I really need a shower!?" He's been taking care of bedtime, morning & homework. I know in a few days he'll be back to work & I'll be grasping for some adult conversation in 10 minutes flat but for now I have my own little piece of paradise here.... I won't be trading it for all the tea in China any time soon.....

~Sarah

Fun, Friends & Flat Tires

Well the kids and I had a blast this weekend! Mission Accomplished!

Blue socks kid is mine!

Cheer Baby!

~Funny Friends~

Sean made a teepee!

They all fit!

So Did I!

Super Proud of His Hard Work!

We went to a Magic Show tonight & Helen levitated!

Then we drove home..... Almost

Oh Hell! 

Meet William~ AKA "My Hero!" 

William has been my friend for about 15 yrs. and is always rescuing me!

And Yvonne~ Best Friend that took babies home for me!

My other Hero! This woman showed up, with wet hair & no makeup to save my kiddos!

She will be in this blog often!

What a sad end to my great weekend :( 

Luckily, the kids & I were rescued quickly & all laughed about it tonight. 

I hope you all made a lot of fun memories too!

~Sarah

PS: I have a "follower" now! This makes me feel super cool! Thanks for reading!

Four Day Weekends

I love America~ truly I do, I am a proud American and sappy at that. I tear up every flippin' time I hear "The Star Spangled Banner", every photo I see of a soldier fighting for our country makes me lose it. Don't even get me started on Memorial day parades~ I want to hug every one of those veterans~ my Grandfather was in WWII and I see his patriotism in each of those men.

That being said, my kids had Friday off of school for some inservice thing, today they had off because it is Columbus Day. Yes, we should take time to celebrate that Mr. Columbus ran into our great country, but I'm sure the kids will learn more about it in school! I love having extra time with my babies, I miss them now that I'm working again. I was a SAHM for quite a while and loved it~ really I did! However, I did not have Friday off of work, this resulted in the Brackel kids joining mom at work.

As I said yesterday, my kids are adorable but 9 hours at my job makes me grumpy and I'm SUPPOSED to be there! It was cute at first, they colored pictures for my coworkers, played Sorry! 47 times, "helped" Mommy paint a sign for the window display and browsed Barbie.com until Helen's eyes glazed over, then it all went downhill, bottom line: 9 hours, one office, and 4 Brackel children equals a stressed Mom in need of a good drink! Sean finally ditched us to go to a football game with "Papa" (my dad) and everyone else headed to bed early. Not a good start to "4 days of quality Mom time"!

Saturday was an insanely busy day of running here, there and EVERYWHERE! Helen had dance, Alex had a soccer game WITH a goal assist (!), we then had lunch and ran to Lowe's for my remodel of Alex's soccer bedroom. Started to put up Halloween decorations (second fav holiday!) Helen had a skating party to attend and Sean invited a friend to stay over. We met up with my parents, "Grandma & Papa" and saw "Hotel Transylvania" what a cute movie! We wound down with a pizza, said goodbye and headed home~ exhausting but successful day!

Sunday involved sleeping in.... till 7:30- GO ME! And a Hell's Kitchen Marathon, Gordon Ramsey is HUUUGE in my house. Sean idolizes him and I think he's such a stud (Sorry Beast!) the "Littles" entertained themselves in their rooms for a bit and I got in 3 episodes.... success! Elizabeth had cheerleading, now remember she is not even 3 1/2 ft tall and in 1st grade, God love her she is the LOUDEST cheerleader! She doesn't always know all the words but she sure has S-P-I-R-I-T, SPIRIT!!!!!! Our fun day Sunday festivities continued with a trip to Grandma Betty & Joe-Joe's house (my mother in law & her hubby) for some Sunday night football and tickle wars :) On the way home we stopped to collect Sean from his Dad and picked up his other little brother in the process, Brennan is possibly the funniest kid I've ever met and he sure does love his big brother! While the boys settled in I got some snuggle time with my little ladies~ Sunday was pretty perfect!

Today is Monday~ I'm in the home stretch in 21.5 hrs my kids will be back at school, I will have little moments of sweetness to tuck away in my heart. We have another busy day ahead of us: two friends over, + Brennan, two dance classes this afternoon, finishing the Halloween decorations, cleaning before my Beast gets home tomorrow night, dinner with my mom tonight (Girls Night!) and getting ready for a road trip tomorrow; blog to follow. I had a really stressful start to my weekend but after writing it out, I really do miss being with them all the time. Sean is going on a trip to Australia next summer, Helen wouldn't know what to do with herself if she had "down time", Liz is really starting to "branch out" and I'm afraid she's not going to want to be BFF's much longer. Alex has one speed, "GO!" so it's always nice to get a few extra moments, he had all of last school year with me and I had a REALLY hard time "letting him go" to Kindergarten.

So, in the end, thank you Christopher Columbus for stumbling upon America. Thank you to our school district for a few extra moments to cherish and thank you to my kids for including me in their childish play~ today we are making leaf piles, playing Red Rover and jumping rope (Pictures to follow!).... These are the moments I live for, the moments I hope to hold onto forever.

-Sarah

Trying in Vain to Hold onto it All....

There are a million reasons to start a blog; it's "cool," I like thinking I'm important, keeping friends & family in the loop, the list goes on and on.....

As much as I like the idea that the world will be at the edge of their seats waiting eagerly for the next update about my insanely adorable family, there are "slightly" more important things happening in the world and I'm not THAT self absorbed.... :) Honestly, my kids are growing up to fast and I, like many moms, am desperate to hold onto the little moments that get overlooked by the BIG moments!

My blog will not be fancy, but it will be real. I'm a little snarky, a little tough, and a lot passionate about the people in my life. I won't always have popular topics, I can't ALWAYS be full of sunshine because that isn't honest, it isn't me. So who are the Brackel's? Well, here we are:

 Aren't we cute? 

There's Anthony, "The Beast" my husband of four years, he works hard and out of town, home not near enough but doing what needs to be done in our present economy. Me, Sarah~ mom, taxi driver, PTG volunteer, personal assistant, etc etc.~ I am a receptionist at a local small business and I recently started making wreaths and other crafty "stuff."
            Sean, "the oldest" is 12, and aspires to be a chef, he is interested in world travel and this thrills me! He is a football player, black belt, tap dancer and takes ballet.
            Helen, "the Diva" is 7, as her nickname may suggest, she is into all things involving the spotlight. She dances competitively, is involved in natural pageants, and volunteers locally. As much as she is a "Diva," she
is compassionate.
             Elizabeth, "the Peanut" is 6, she takes ballet, cheers, rides horses, and loves art. Liz is her own person, not a follower, she is silly and at 3 ft 5 inches tall she manages to make herself heard!
             Alex, "the Soccer Monster" is 5, crazy and energetic are two words for my "baby". Alex plays soccer and loves to have new experiences and eat sushi!

So, that's us! We aren't perfect and our lifestyle isn't for everyone but we love each other and we're a strong family. And that to me, is what family is all about!

~Sarah